Erm's I.T. Girl – Zelna Ellis

Don't fear when Zel is near…

Akkurate weervoorspelling

Dit is April en die Boesmans in ’n afgeleë deel van die Kalahari vra hulle nuwe stamhoof of dit hierdie winter matig of koud gaan wees. Omdat hy stamhoof is in meer moderne tye, het hy nooit die ou geheime geleer nie. Wanneer hy die lug bestudeer, kon hy nie sê hoe die winter gaan wees nie.Nieteenstaande het hy besluit om dit veilig te speel en hy sê toe dat dit n koue winter gaan wees en hulle moet begin brandhout bymekaar maak ter voorbereiding. Hy is egter n praktiese man en na ’n paar dae kry hy ’n plan. Hy stap na n publieke telefoonhokkie by die nasionale pad, skakel die weerburo en vra: “Gaan die komende winter koud wees in die Kalahari?””Ja dit lyk so” sê die een wat geantwoord het.Hy gaan terug na die stam en sê hulle moet nog meer hout bymekaar maak.’n Week later skakel hy weer die weerburo.”Lyk dit nog steeds na n baie koue winter?””Ja, dit gaan baie koud wees.”Hy gaan terug en beveel hulle om elke stukkie hout wat hulle vind, op te tel.Na twee weke skakel hy weer.”Is julle heeltemal seker dat dit baie koud gaan wees?””Absoluut”, kom die antwoord, “dit lyk al hoe meer na een van die koudste winters ooit.””Wat maak julle so seker?””Ons satelliet fotos wys die Boesmans maak verwoed hout bymekaar, en dis altyd n sekere teken.”

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4 November 2010 Posted by | Jokes | , , | Leave a comment

Happy Women’s Day

Respect a Woman because

You can feel her INNOCENCE in the form of a daughter
You can feel her CARE in the form of a sister
You can feel her WARMTH in the form of a friend
You can feel her PASSION in the form of a beloved
You can feel her DEDICATION in the form of a wife
You can feel her DIVINITY in the form of a mother
You can feel her BLESSING in the form of a grandmother
Yet she is so TOUGH too…
Her heart is so TENDER…
So NAUGHTY…
So CHARMING…
So SHARING…
So MELODIUS…
She is a WOMAN

And she is life!!!

To all the wonderful women that I know, I hope you have a fantastic woman’s month and woman’s day on Monday.
Hope you won’t forget how special you are!!!

6 August 2010 Posted by | Off The Beat | Leave a comment

Easy Delicious Chocolate Cakes in Minutes

Try this recipe next time you bake! This is even better than the Chocolate Cake in a Mug (5 minutes). You can bake the perfect chocolate cake in the microwave within few minutes. So easy to make 🙂

Ingredients:

  • 3 eggs separated
  • 250 ml (120 g) Flour
  • 10 ml Baking Powder
  • Pinch of Salt
  • 60 ml (24 g) Cocoa Powder
  • 125 ml Hot Water
  • 60 ml Oil
  • 220 ml (175 g) Sugar
  • 5 ml Vanilla Essence
    1. Method:

      1. Stir, flour, baking powder and salt together.
      2. Mix cocoa and hot water. Allow to cool.
      3. Combine egg yolk, oil, sugar, vanilla essence and cocoa mix.
      4. Add this cocoa mix to the dry ingredients.
      5. Whip egg white till still and fold lightly into cocoa mixture.
      6. Pour batter into 21 cm diameter microwave dish.
      7. Microwave on medium high (80%) for 5 to 7 minutes (900 Watts) or 10 to 12 Minutes (700 Watts)
      8. Let the cake cool down and decorate it as desired.

    Delicious Yum-Yum the Easy Way!

    2 August 2010 Posted by | In My Laboratory | , , , , | Leave a comment

    Computer Industry vs Vehicle Auto Industry

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

    ‘If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’

    GM’s Response:
    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash……..
    Twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning light.
    I love the next one!!!

    7. The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’ before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.

    Source unknown

    15 April 2010 Posted by | Jokes | , , | Leave a comment

    Palindrome numbers in the date

    Well my uncle has pointed out the palindrome number of yesterday’s date, 01/02/2010 backwards is the same. It has been a discussion for two days now. My brother Quintin, and cousin Derron think I am bored out of my find. But have to agree with me friend Andrea it is a cool fact, esta bom! That’s it!

    Well using the astronomical calendar, which by the way has a year zero; here are the results on the algorithms used:

    In the millennium of the year 0000 (zero):
    Occurrences: 36 times
    Starting at the year zero it occurred for the first time on 01/10/0110.
    Here is a definite pattern. It occurs for 4 years consecutively and then skipped 96 years.
    Happened the last time for this area on 31/10/0113

    In the millennium of the year 1000 :
    Occurrences: 61 times
    It skipped 87 years Happened for the first time in this time frame on 10-01-1001. This time only consecutively for 3 years.
    Skipped 6 years, (01/01/1010) and for this time consecutively for 4 years.
    Then it skipped 6 years and happened consecutively for 3 years.
    Then it skipped 7 years (05/11/1150) and happened consecutively for 3 years afterwards, until 29/11/1192

    In the millennium of the year 2000 :
    Occurrences: 60 times
    This is in my life time 🙂
    Skipped 808 years. (10/02/2001) and for this time consecutively for 2 years only.
    Then it skipped 7 years and happened yesterday (01/02/2010). This time it is going to occur 3 years consecutively.
    Will skip 7 years and occur for 3 years consecutively until 10/21/2101. Here it will skip 8 years and occur for 3 years consecutively
    Then it will skip 6 years and occur for 4 years consecutively.
    Then it will skip years and occur for 3 years consecutively.
    Then it is back at skipping 7 years and occurring for 4 years consecutively until 29/12/2192.

    In the millennium of the year 3000 :
    Occurrences: 31 times
    Skipped 808 years (10/03/3001) and blah, blah, blah…

    In the millennium of the year 4000 :
    Occurrences: 31 times
    Skipped 908 years (10/03/3001) and blah, blah, blah…

    It keeps on skipping 908 years for every millennium until 29/09/9092 then we estimate that it will skip 1017 years and occur again on 01/10/10110.

    Download the csv file here.

    My conclusion:
    This is just cool things. If you use another date format or calendar this is totally obsolete. Another point that has been discussed and we don’t have the answers is: If an eclipse ellipse has 360 degrees, the earth rotate around the sun in a form of an eclipse ellipse, why do we have 365 ¼ days per year?

    2 February 2010 Posted by | Technologies | | 2 Comments

    South Africa is the 2nd country in the world to host Rugby, Soccer & Cricket World Cup

    Intro

    This is quite a "cool" fact 🙂
    In order to blend in with the local crowd, learn how to sing along the S.A. National Anthem at the FIFA Soccer World Cup 2010.
    Well here is a list of all the hosts at the time of publishing this article:

    Rugby World Cup Hosts:

    1987: Australia and New Zealand
    1991: England, Wales Scotland, Ireland and France
    1995: South Africa
    1999: Wales
    2003: Australia
    2007: France
    2011: New Zealand
    2015: England
    2019: Japan

    Cricket World Cup Hosts:

    1975: England
    1979: England
    1983: England
    1987: India and Pakistan
    1992: Australia and New Zealand
    1996: India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka
    1999: England
    2003: South Africa, Zimbabwe and Kenya
    2007: West Indies
    2011: Bangladesh, India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka
    2015: Australia and New Zealand
    2019: England

    Soccer World Cup Hosts:

    1930: Uruguay
    1934: Italy
    1938: France
    1950: Brazil
    1954: Switzerland
    1958: Sweden
    1962: Chile
    1966: England
    1970: Mexico
    1974: West Germany
    1978: Argentina
    1982: Spain
    1986: Mexico
    1990: Italy
    1994: USA
    1998: France
    2002: South Korea and Japan
    2006: Germany
    2010: South Africa
    2014: Brazil

    11 January 2010 Posted by | Off The Beat, Rugby | , , | Leave a comment

    Season Greetings

    I am switching off the computers and gonna play outside. My websites is online, (www.zellism.com and zellism.co.za, the content will come sometime in 2010.

    To all the people out there, have a blessed time!
    If you are traveling, I wish you God’s speed and journey mercies.
    May The Year 2010 Bring for You Happiness, Success and filled with Peace, Hope and Togetherness of your Family and Friends.
    Wish You A Great, Prosperous, Blissful, Healthy, Bright, Delightful, Mind Blowing, Energetic, Terrific, Extremely HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

    And once again, the Sage Wisdom:
    The most destructive habit – Worry
    The greatest joy – Giving
    The greatest loss – loss of self-respect
    The most satisfying work – Helping others
    The ugliest personality trait – Selfishness
    The most endangered species – Dedicated leaders
    Our greatest natural resource – Our youth
    The greatest “shot in the arm” – Encouragement
    The greatest problem to overcome – Fear
    The most effective sleeping pill – Peace of mind
    The most crippling failure disease – Excuses
    The most powerful force in life – Love
    The most dangerous pariah – A gossiper
    The world’s most incredible computer – The brain
    The worst thing to be without – Hope
    The deadliest weapon – The tongue
    The two most power-filled words – “I Can”
    The greatest asset – Faith
    The most worthless emotion – Self-pity
    The most beautiful attire – A smile!
    The most prized possession – Integrity
    The most powerful channel of communication – Prayer
    The most contagious spirit – Enthusiasm

    Anonymous

    17 December 2009 Posted by | Off The Beat | | Leave a comment

    Workout schedule – how to build muscle strength

    I came across this exercise suggested for the not so young to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.
    The article suggested doing it three days a week.

    1. Begin by standing on a comfortable, flat surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 1kg potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to hold for a full minute, then relax.
    2. Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bag. Then a 7kg potato bag and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 10kg potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
      (I’m at this level).
    3. When you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the bags.
    4. LOL 😉
      I liked it. What about you?

    10 December 2009 Posted by | Jokes, Off The Beat | , | Leave a comment

    Urgent Warning from Cell C, Vodacom & MTN!

    Dear All,

    If you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person, saying that, he or she is a company engineer, or saying that they’re checking your mobile line, and you have to press # 90 or #09 or any other number.

    End this call immediately without pressing any numbers.

    There is a fraud company using a device that once you press #90 or #09 they can access your ‘SIM’ card and make calls at your expense.

    Forward this message to as many friends as you can, to stop it.

    All mobile users pay attention if you receive a phone call and your mobile phone displays (XALAN) on the screen don’t answer the call, END THE CALL IMMEDIATELY, if you answer the call, your phone will be infected by a virus..

    This virus will erase all IMEI and IMSI information from both your phone and your SIM card, which will make your phone unable to connect with the telephone network. You will have to buy a new phone. This information has been confirmed by both Motorola and Nokia.

    PLEASE FORWARD THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS HAVING A MOBILE.

    18 November 2009 Posted by | Warnings | , , , , | Leave a comment

    My name is Rose

    The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

    I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

    She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’

    I laughed and enthusiastically responded, ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze.

    ‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked.

    She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…’

    ‘No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

    ‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

    After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

    We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

    Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

    At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
    Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’

    As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘ We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

    There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

    We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

    There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

    If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

    Anybody! Can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

    The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..’

    She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

    She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

    One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

    Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

    When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

    These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

    REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give.

    6 November 2009 Posted by | Off The Beat | , , , | Leave a comment